Ten Warning Signs

Warning signs of a potentially abusive relationship.

Abuse can be difficult to identify.

Identifying relationship abuse can be difficult for several reasons:

First, although physical abuse and sexual abuse might be obvious to some people, emotional or psychological abuse are much less obvious. For example, physical or sexual abuse might have left a bruise or some other external mark but the same would not be said of emotional or psychological abuse which are more likely to instead affect the mind or emotions of the victim.

Also, even if the person being abused clearly knows that it is abuse, the abuser will often blame them for their own abuse. Because of this the abusive acts, even if clearly abusive in nature, might be minimized or even completely disregarded by the victim of that abuse.

Power and Control

It might be helpful to keep in mind that at the root of relationship abuse is the issue of power and control. It is abusive when one person in a relationship has power over the other person. The abuser has the need to control their partner, acting as if they own that person. For example, physical abuse is sometimes used when an abuser acts out physically to prevent their partner from doing something by physically restraining them. An abuser might also strike their partner as retaliation. In both of these instances the phsyical act was in an attempt to control the other person's actions.

Remembering that power and control are at the root of abuse might make it easier to identify abusive behavior. Remember: it is not easy to identify many forms of abuse, especially when you are in the abusive relationship.

Ten Warning Signs of Relationship Abuse

  • History of discipline problems.
  • Blames you for his / her anger.
  • Serious drug or alcohol use.
  • History of violent behavior.
  • Threatens others regularly.
  • Insults you or calls you names.
  • Trouble controlling feelings like anger.
  • Tells you what to wear, what to do, or how to act.
  • Threatens or intimidates you in order to get their way.
  • Prevents you from spending time with friends or family.